If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
