well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
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