fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Randomize
