to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
