..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
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