my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
Randomize
