Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Randomize
