bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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