When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
MIDGETS
????
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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