We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
