I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
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