and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
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