I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
