It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
I wish I could teleport
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Randomize
