When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
Life is so much better after having sex.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize
