She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
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