he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
I know her cup size but not her name....
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