i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
