Sry I called you an 8
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
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