she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
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