Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
two words: eviction party
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Randomize
