Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Randomize
