you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
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