Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Randomize
