Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
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