i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
