I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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