...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
tell me about the eggs
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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