Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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