Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
