We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
Randomize
