he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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