FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Randomize
