i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Randomize
