Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
