Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
