I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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