sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Randomize
