You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
Who wears a wallet chain?!
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Randomize
