Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
