You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
I did not marry a roomba.
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