Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
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