I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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