How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Randomize