Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
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Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
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So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
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