Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
