Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
Randomize
