Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
