I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
They have beer where we have blood.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
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