Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Randomize
