another moral hangover. fuck.
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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