just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
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