What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Randomize