this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
high people should be assigned attendants
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
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He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
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Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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