Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize