So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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