Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
