we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
Randomize
