quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
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