apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
