So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
I scissor kicked a one legged man last night.
He was trying to put me in handcuffs.
You have my attention.
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
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