porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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