Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize