We won't sleep together?
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
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Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
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