We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
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